15 Weeks and Counting

I apologize to all who have heard this experience, but we had wanted to post it for those who haven't.  It is somewhat of old news to many, but being that we went offline for a couple months we never got a chance to post about it, at least I don't thinks so.  My memory is not exactly top caliber.  Well here it goes.

Jared wanted another sibling for quite some time and would ask Jaime and I when we would be having another baby. I thought those questions only came from our parents, not our own children.  Jaime and I, in the past, have had no trouble getting pregnant. We had decided back in January that we would again look to bring another child into our home. Months went by and nothing happened. We were shocked. Come May, we received Jared's diagnosis. We were devastated. We discussed putting a family on hold until there was a resolve to our situation, but we never felt that this is what we should do. We wanted Jared to be able to have his wish of another sibling, but did not know how we would handle things financially and emotionally. On my birthday, in the fall, we were in getting flu shots when we discovered that Jaime is in fact, pregnant. We were all so excited. Here I was, thinking in my heart that getting flu shots on my birthday would go down as an all time high for the best birthday present ever, but I was soon shocked with the news of a true birthday wish.  We were shocked and excited.  Jared was truly the most excited of all of us. It was fun to see his joy in knowing that he would have another sibling. 

Well, the coming months brought great disappointment as you all know. Our hearts were sorrowed as we learned of Jared's final diagnosis. At the deepest valleys of our challenges, the Lord has brought forth some of the greatest blessings. Just weeks following the very vivid, difficult MRI images of our sons tumor we were shown the mercy of the Lord by viewing an ultrasound image of our future child. To our great joy, we then discovered from the doctor that this baby's due date is exactly the eighth birthday of our oldest son Jared, May 29, 2010. On top of this great news, we have since had another ultrasound revealing that we will have a baby boy.  I know that God is very aware of us and is keenly interested in the details of our lives.  We will soon experience both ends of life's spectrum in a matter of 6 months from each other.  We can't wait.  I am sure Jared is still very aware of this blessing that will soon come into our home, just as he is aware of how his life has blessed our family with a deeper appreciation of the important things in life.  Someday all the siblings can be reunited again and can cherish the greatest blessings and tender mercies God can give.

Couch Log

Since Jared's passing we have been trying to preserve as many memories of him as we can. We have decided that each week we will have a Jared memory where one member of the family will have to give one memory of Jared. This has been a fun experience. Sometimes we end up laughing about a funny memory and at other times we end up very emotional. Last night we ended up reenacting a memory that Jaime recalled.

When Jared was healthy and his playful normal self he loved to wrestle. There was one game we would play in particular that Jared and Gabrielle loved. The main objective of the game was to push dad off of the couch. I would try to position myself in a way that would eliminate any leverage they could get on me to push or pull me off of the couch. They would stand on me and push with their legs, they would pull my body from behind, but normally to no avail until they teamed up with a more thought out plan. Without fail they would succeed when Jared would take one of my buried feet and pull it off the couch my all powerful leverage was gone and Gabrielle would sit on me and push with her feet. Normally within seconds they were laughing to no end as they successfully threw me off the couch. I would then jump back on in a different position to try and outsmart them.

Last night we laughed as Jaime recalled these experiences. How fun it is to see the kids recall such simple, but exciting memories of their older brother. What a great mother Jaime is to remember such sweet and tender things. Well, the "couch log" legend lives on as Gabrielle and Bradley finally succeeded in teaming up against me last night to throw me off the couch.

Our Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jared loved the movie “Journey to the Center of the Earth”. We watched that show many times with him. I remember watching it in the theaters in 3-D and throwing my glasses off my head when something came flying at me. We purchased the dvd when it came out. We watched it again and again. This movie invoked a lot of questions from Jared. I can't tell you how many times we discussed the earth's layers and other scientific topics that I have no knowledge of, but I think I am close at least 25% of the time. The fascination with the center of the earth resulted in proving our hypothesis, or disproving it, however you would like to put it. We experimented, to his satisfaction, by escaping to my in-law’s back yard and made an attempt at reaching it ourselves. With shovel in hand and a big smile on Jared's face we dug side by side until we reached a point where we “thought” we were close. The hole was big enough for Jared and I to stand in together and was about 3-4 feet deep. We never did reach the center, but the dirt did became harder and harder to remove. Despite not reaching the center Jared loved every minute of it. The hole still remains in my in-laws back yard, much to their dismay, but it stands as a reminder of Jared's curiosity and determination.

Love This Kid

Sorry everyone out there, we just can't let this site go. It is time to bring things back for all who would care to follow.  Obviously our little boy's physical absence in our home is a challenge we will always experience.  We love him and he has become a constant reminder of just how wonderful life is.  Jared's life was wonderful.  We would like to continually commemorate him on this site as a means of documenting his life as well as our progression through his absence.  There are many experiences with Jared, told both from the parents and the kids that we will share.  Thanks to all the unending support we have received.  We love you all and just cannot begin to explain how greatful we are for such amazing people.  You all raised almost $8,000 for the Chordoma Foundation (The link in this blog does not show this amount, but we received a letter) and gave endlessly to each of us and it hasn't ended.  Thank you, thank you.

Jared's Journey Begins Anew

Well, the dreaded post has arrived and our hearts ache to write it, but we want to pay this last tribute to our son.  Jared passed away yesterday morning at 3:45 AM as a result of complications from his tumor.  Early Sunday morning, after a week of spending time with family through thanksgiving and Bradley's birthday, Jared awoke complaining of breathing difficulties, which sounded much like a child does who has the croup.  This was the beginning of the last 25 hours of his life.  These hours seemed so incredibly long in the moment, but we are so grateful that Jared was able to pass so quickly.  He did struggle at times, but eventually stopped breathing Monday morning in his own bed with Jaime and I by his side.  There are not words to describe the feelings that were felt.  I can honestly say that there has been nothing so heart wrenching and so painful as this moment.  We lived knowing of this time for weeks now, but the void that is left in our home is irreplaceable.  His physical presence in our home will be forever missed and remembered.  Jared was much more than a super hero to us.  Jared has paved our way of hope to a loving God and we will be eternally grateful for his special presence in our lives.

Jared was a very fun loving kid with a fantastic imagination.  He loved to create new superheroes and would list all of the many powers that these heros would have.  He loved his brother and sister so dearly.  He would smile and laugh at their many jokes and just loved to be around them.  He and Gabrielle were especially close and were truly the best of friends. He wrote a note to Bradley for his birthday just days before his passing telling him that he was his best side kick.  Bradley and Gabrielle are truly better for having the brother that they do.  Jared loves his mother and their bond will forever be a tribute to both Jaime and Jared.  He loved to  be held by Jaime and found comfort as he would cry in her arms.  He loved to hear her sing and would always request a certain song from her that has become a cherished song in our home.  The song is entitled, "Light on a Hill".  Jared has become a light on a hill to each one of us.  Jared will live on in all of us and as time progresses we will manage the challenges of life better and with more control, but Jared's memory will never dwindle.  He was loved by all and is truly a special son of God.

Jared's services will be held on Friday at 11:00 AM at our chapel in Centerville.  There will be a viewing the night before at Russon Brothers Mortuary on Main Street in Bountiful from 6-8:00 PM.  Another viewing will be held at the chapel prior to the services from 9:30-10:40 AM.  Our chapel is located at 270 N. 300 E. in Centerville.  In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Chordoma Foundation.  The link to Jared's donation page can be found as a link on this blog.

We love you all.  We have been extremely blessed with such amazing people around us.  This challenge has brought forth some the most cherished experiences that life can afford and we are forever grateful for them.  Our hearts are pained, but we are eternally grateful for the knowledge of life beyond this life as we know it.  It is our firm testimony that we will be with Jared again if we can but live a worthy life. God does live and his son Jesus is the Christ and has made this experience a sacred one with the knowledge of temple covenants and a resurrection to a perfected life as families.  We hope to make this a reality and are so grateful for your prayers and examples to each of us.  May Jared always be remembered for the choice and noble son of God that he is.  We love you all, thank you.

Jared Vance - Hero Day

We feel so touched as Jared's elementary school is honoring Jared the week after Thanksgiving as they hold a school wide "Jared Vance - Hero Day"  in honor of Jared and his superhero status.  Every grade level in the school is doing a service project in honor of Jared.  What a neat thing to be honored and an even neater thing to honor someone by helping other people.  We feel so grateful to have such amazing support around us in our community.  We especially thank Mrs. Tonge and her class who started it all.

Here is a picture of our family at Jared's Make A Wish Celebration.  Jared has had a wonderful time putting together his legos . . . all of his lego creations have completely filled the donated bookcase that Make A Wish gave us and he still has about 10 boxes left!

Jared had a few really great days following his Make A Wish night, but has sort of been going a bit down hill since.  There is no doubt that he still has some good moments of Legos and Indiana Jones games, but he just seems to struggle for a good portion of the day.  That moment of struggle seems to be lingering a bit more throughout the day.  He has recently acquired a magic set and has proudly mastered a few of the tricks.  He still shows a great love for life while he is up and feeling well.  He fights hard and will always retain a super hero status in our family.

We hope to have a wonderful Thanksgiving week with a lot of family and cousins for Jared to be with.  Hopefully he will have more ups than downs.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Tribute To Our Boy

For Jared's Make a Wish party we showed the following video.  What a fun night it was and what an amazing foundation.  Jared was extremely bashful, as many of you know, but he has not stopped assembling the Lego's since yesterday evening.  Thank you to all who nominated Jared for this sweet experience.  Amidst so much worry and concern we have sure been blessed with so many tender mercies along the way.

The video had to be broken into the two YouTube segments.  To view the videos please click on the links on the side of the blog listed under "Some Great Links". 

We will post more details when we have some more of the photos available.

Thank You Make A Wish for a memorable night with our boy.