Friday, February 19, 2010

15 Weeks and Counting

I apologize to all who have heard this experience, but we had wanted to post it for those who haven't.  It is somewhat of old news to many, but being that we went offline for a couple months we never got a chance to post about it, at least I don't thinks so.  My memory is not exactly top caliber.  Well here it goes.

Jared wanted another sibling for quite some time and would ask Jaime and I when we would be having another baby. I thought those questions only came from our parents, not our own children.  Jaime and I, in the past, have had no trouble getting pregnant. We had decided back in January that we would again look to bring another child into our home. Months went by and nothing happened. We were shocked. Come May, we received Jared's diagnosis. We were devastated. We discussed putting a family on hold until there was a resolve to our situation, but we never felt that this is what we should do. We wanted Jared to be able to have his wish of another sibling, but did not know how we would handle things financially and emotionally. On my birthday, in the fall, we were in getting flu shots when we discovered that Jaime is in fact, pregnant. We were all so excited. Here I was, thinking in my heart that getting flu shots on my birthday would go down as an all time high for the best birthday present ever, but I was soon shocked with the news of a true birthday wish.  We were shocked and excited.  Jared was truly the most excited of all of us. It was fun to see his joy in knowing that he would have another sibling. 

Well, the coming months brought great disappointment as you all know. Our hearts were sorrowed as we learned of Jared's final diagnosis. At the deepest valleys of our challenges, the Lord has brought forth some of the greatest blessings. Just weeks following the very vivid, difficult MRI images of our sons tumor we were shown the mercy of the Lord by viewing an ultrasound image of our future child. To our great joy, we then discovered from the doctor that this baby's due date is exactly the eighth birthday of our oldest son Jared, May 29, 2010. On top of this great news, we have since had another ultrasound revealing that we will have a baby boy.  I know that God is very aware of us and is keenly interested in the details of our lives.  We will soon experience both ends of life's spectrum in a matter of 6 months from each other.  We can't wait.  I am sure Jared is still very aware of this blessing that will soon come into our home, just as he is aware of how his life has blessed our family with a deeper appreciation of the important things in life.  Someday all the siblings can be reunited again and can cherish the greatest blessings and tender mercies God can give.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Couch Log

Since Jared's passing we have been trying to preserve as many memories of him as we can. We have decided that each week we will have a Jared memory where one member of the family will have to give one memory of Jared. This has been a fun experience. Sometimes we end up laughing about a funny memory and at other times we end up very emotional. Last night we ended up reenacting a memory that Jaime recalled.

When Jared was healthy and his playful normal self he loved to wrestle. There was one game we would play in particular that Jared and Gabrielle loved. The main objective of the game was to push dad off of the couch. I would try to position myself in a way that would eliminate any leverage they could get on me to push or pull me off of the couch. They would stand on me and push with their legs, they would pull my body from behind, but normally to no avail until they teamed up with a more thought out plan. Without fail they would succeed when Jared would take one of my buried feet and pull it off the couch my all powerful leverage was gone and Gabrielle would sit on me and push with her feet. Normally within seconds they were laughing to no end as they successfully threw me off the couch. I would then jump back on in a different position to try and outsmart them.

Last night we laughed as Jaime recalled these experiences. How fun it is to see the kids recall such simple, but exciting memories of their older brother. What a great mother Jaime is to remember such sweet and tender things. Well, the "couch log" legend lives on as Gabrielle and Bradley finally succeeded in teaming up against me last night to throw me off the couch.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Our Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jared loved the movie “Journey to the Center of the Earth”. We watched that show many times with him. I remember watching it in the theaters in 3-D and throwing my glasses off my head when something came flying at me. We purchased the dvd when it came out. We watched it again and again. This movie invoked a lot of questions from Jared. I can't tell you how many times we discussed the earth's layers and other scientific topics that I have no knowledge of, but I think I am close at least 25% of the time. The fascination with the center of the earth resulted in proving our hypothesis, or disproving it, however you would like to put it. We experimented, to his satisfaction, by escaping to my in-law’s back yard and made an attempt at reaching it ourselves. With shovel in hand and a big smile on Jared's face we dug side by side until we reached a point where we “thought” we were close. The hole was big enough for Jared and I to stand in together and was about 3-4 feet deep. We never did reach the center, but the dirt did became harder and harder to remove. Despite not reaching the center Jared loved every minute of it. The hole still remains in my in-laws back yard, much to their dismay, but it stands as a reminder of Jared's curiosity and determination.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Love This Kid

Sorry everyone out there, we just can't let this site go. It is time to bring things back for all who would care to follow.  Obviously our little boy's physical absence in our home is a challenge we will always experience.  We love him and he has become a constant reminder of just how wonderful life is.  Jared's life was wonderful.  We would like to continually commemorate him on this site as a means of documenting his life as well as our progression through his absence.  There are many experiences with Jared, told both from the parents and the kids that we will share.  Thanks to all the unending support we have received.  We love you all and just cannot begin to explain how greatful we are for such amazing people.  You all raised almost $8,000 for the Chordoma Foundation (The link in this blog does not show this amount, but we received a letter) and gave endlessly to each of us and it hasn't ended.  Thank you, thank you.